Among the die-hard gamblers and online casino experts at CasinoPlay are a group who supplement their casino game hobbies with an almost zealot-like following of superheroes and super-villains. From comic books to movies to TV series to all the conventions that happen around the world, they’re always geeking out over the latest news and developments in their fantasy worlds of good vs evil.
Marvel have recently announced the line-up and release dates of the next instalments in their cinematic universe and as can be expected, our CasinoPlay comics crew have spoken of little else since. Which led to an interesting office-wide discussion on what casino games superheroes would play, who would be the best at each game and the origin of some character’s names.
Black Jack, the Joker, Gambit, Chance, Roulette – there’s even a character called the Gambler (not named after Kenny Rogers’ amazing song!) – are all names that most superhero and comic book fans will recognise. And we can guess at what games certain characters would be playing: Wolverine seems like a poker fan, Professor X is definitely more of a chess master, Superman is too ‘good’ to play gambling games, the Hulk probably struggles with Snap and Deadpool seems more of a Pokémon follower.
But what if we were to play AGAINST a superhero or super-villain? What powers would they use to beat us? Who would be the ultimate cheater? And how would they go about tilting the game in their favour?
These are the questions that need to be answered. These are the ideas that will change the world. These are the things that the CasinoPlay crew do when we’re bored!
Let’s be honest here, having super strength would be really cool but pretty useless in a casino. It might help you if you were into sports betting and bet on yourself to beat the current boxing heavyweight champion.
Likewise, marksmanship, web shooting, wall crawling, levitation, underwater breathing, flight, and suchlike would not help a superhero or villain get an edge at games of chance.
But X-ray vision, magnetic control, speed, time manipulation and machine control would put our character in the pound seats at any casino.
Although the goodie-two-shoes son of Krypton would probably never set foot in a casino or log in to an online casino, he would be the worst to play poker against. While he has a bunch of superpowers including flight, strength, ice breath, laser beams from the eyeballs, sonic hearing and more, it’s his X-ray vision that sets him up as the ultimate poker player.
Being able to see your cards and the cards of any other players will effectively negate the bluff and allow him to bet you out of the game knowing exactly what you’re holding in your hand.
He does have a weakness however, online poker (whether Live Dealer or video) will make his powers absolutely useless. The RNG and video tech are his casino kryptonite.
Other notable mentions:
Supergirl, Superboy, Ultraboy, Krypto the Superdog, Booster Gold, Brainiac, Crimson Chin, Darkseid, General Zod, Thanos, Power Girl, Vision.
This super villain would be the absolute bane of any old-school casino. With the power to manipulate metal, electro-magnetic manipulation and control over magnetic force (among others), he would wreak havoc on the old mechanical slot machines. Magneto would be able to stop the reels anywhere he wanted them to stop, manipulate the cogs and wheels and levers to award him any jackpot he wanted, and overload any coin hopper to spill its loot at will.
Even modern slots would be at risk from this master of magnets and metal (my band name – called it!). His electro-mechanical manipulation and electrokinesis could very well overload modern RNG-based slots to give him all the wins!
Roulette would be another game the master manipulator would rule over. The metal ball is a no-brainer, but the actual wheel mechanics would also give him ample opportunity to hit those 35-1 payouts on a regular, and very rewarding, basis.
Other notable mentions:
Darkseid, Darth Sidious (Emperor Palpatine), Red Death, Starfire, Thanos.
Being able to run really, really fast would seem to be about as useful as being really, really good looking in a casino (looking at you Zoolander), but actually, the Flash could make a killing at the roulette table.
His ability to move faster than the eye (or the eye in the sky as the casino cameras are called) can see would give him a great chance to move the roulette ball to whichever pocket he wants it land in without anyone suspecting.
Blackjack and poker could also be a target. If he could remove all the cards form the shoe, re-shuffle them into whatever order he wants, and replace them faster than thought – well let’s just say it would go beyond being a stacked deck.
Other notable mentions:
Adam Warlock, Black Adam, Black Lightning, Superman, Supergirl, Superboy, Captain Marvel, Quicksilver.
Stephen Strange has some pretty mystical powers going on but, for the purposes of making a kaboodle of money off games of chance, his time manipulation powers could see him being a frequent winner of those ultimate jackpots – national lotteries.
Imagine being able to see what numbers come up in the EuroLotto or the US Powerball, travel back in time to buy a ticket with those numbers and then wait for the announcement of your multi-billion Rand payouts to happen. Pretty sweet deal, right?
Although … does changing the past affect the future? If you go back in time to buy a lottery ticket you never bought before would that change the outcome in the future? It’s the whole grandfather paradox – if you went back in time to kill your grandfather, would you ever be born so that you could later travel back in time blah blah blah.
Or would you create a new timeline for the universe in which you did win the lotto so that in one universe you’re a winner but in another you’re not?
Strange ideas indeed, Doctor Strange.
Other notable mentions:
Darkseid (my, he does pop up a lot), Ares, Brainiac, Doctor Doom, Galactus, John Constantine, Mister Mxyzptlk, Thanos, Phoenix, Scarlet Witch, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Zatanna. (We’re not including Superman and his flying super-fast backwards around the Earth to turn back time in 1978’s Superman movie because that’s just ridiculous).
Anyone who watched Deadpool 2 will remember Domino, the young lady who has the ability to manipulate luck. What casino or opposing player would stand a chance against someone who can turn luck their way at will? Although it does seem that luck doesn’t always go the way we think it will. While you may think that not winning a jackpot is unlucky, the time you spend playing stops you from getting into a car accident so that’s lucky right?
Anyway, being able to manipulate luck is a great superpower as the casino would only see someone lucky, not someone using strategies or cheats to win their cash.
Other notable mentions:
Jinx, Mister Mxyzptlk, Vision
In one-on-one games of chance like poker what could be better than X-ray vision? Psychokinesis and telepathy! Not only could you read people’s minds and see what they are planning, you could imprint your own thoughts onto them an make them do what you wanted like raise when you have the best hand or fold when they have a good hand.
The power of the mind can be used to manipulate others at will, and even make dealers and croupiers believe something that isn’t there. The drawback to this is that any tech observation like cameras will see right through what you are doing.
Other notable mentions:
Phoenix, Doctor Strange, Apocalypse, Aquaman, Ares, Brainiac, Doctor Strange, Emma Frost, Mantis, Martin Manhunter.
There are a number of superheroes and villains that would wipe the floor with us (and the casino) and clean us out. Probably the worst character to try your luck with is Darkseid who seems to have every superpower under the sun at his disposal.
But our ultimate character for any gambling scenarios is one that hasn’t got any superpowers and hasn’t featured at all on our list:
Who better to be the poster child for gambling and Lady Luck than the man who bases every decision he makes on the flip of a coin? Who better embodies the chaos, the thrills and the expectation of the online, mobile and land-based casino world than a character who puts his fate and his future on a simple heads or tails, lucky or unlucky, yin or yang than Harvey Dent, the Janus of the superhero world?
